Do you try to plan your life instead of letting God plan it? Sometimes I feel that we all have this problem. And right now I do. I had plans for my life, but since I've shared them, they have changed, I have waivered from wanting or not wanting the plans I've created. The most recent is when I want kids. Often I'll be around moms and I have this strong urge to be a mom, but also often I'm around those without kids and I want more of that. I want to enjoy time with Steve and have fun with others who are married yet don't have kids. The problem: all our married-without-kids friends are in other states or other parts of the world! Through this realization, I've gone to wanting kids right away, to never wanting kids, to not sure. In other words, I haven't been listening to what God's plans are for me!
So here is what I know: We want kids. I have a strong passion to be a head teacher for many years. I want to be a stay-at-home-mom when my kids are young. I hate subbing.
From that here are some questions I have: When will I teach again? When will I be a mom? Will I be able to stay at home? Will I even want to stay at home? When do I want kids?
Kids bring lots of amazing moments and joy to our lives. But I believe that it will happen with God's timing. I have obviously been enjoying not being a mom. I have no idea when I actually want kids. I am selfish right now. I love that I can get a full nights' sleep or can go on a trip short notice. I love having my body. I love being free of the restrictions that children can bring. I know there will be a point when I can't wait to have those "restrictions" but I'm not sure when it will be.
The Lord has a plan, I just need to figure out what it is. I need to listen and wait. For now, I will continue enjoying being married to the most perfect-for-me man ever!
"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
I always love people to pray for me, so please feel free to do just that!
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